Letdown
by A Darker Angle
Summary: The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing... and should therefore be treated with great caution. [[Response to a challenge on HPFFL]]


**A/N: **Please read and let me know what you think. It's a little angsty/dramatic, but I was in a weird sort of mood. :P Anyways, enjoy.

A Darker Angle  
" **L e t d o w n "**

It is the morning after Ariana's death, and Aberforth and I sit quietly in the kitchen. Aberforth is not speaking to me. I assume he is still angry with us, and he has good reason to be. Truthfully, I am angry with myself.

The funeral is set for tomorrow. Aberforth, Gellert and I are set to attend, though to me only Aberforth really deserves to go. He's been right all along, Aberforth has, and about everything. Infinitely more admirable than I, he was able to see that our plans would never work, _could_ never work. Not with Ariana's condition. Not with Gellert's devious ideas, ideas which, I am ashamed to admit, have captivated me like all the rest. Aberforth, in a moment of bravery, tried to stop us from ruining our lives, Ariana's… and possibly the world as well. And that's when it happened. In the blink of an eye, an argument started; in a split second, it escalated. And before I knew it, I was seeing a side of Gellert Grindelwald I'd only subconsciously known to exist.

He tortured my brother. He hurt Aberforth. Even now, it's hard to believe. It is truly heartbreaking to realize that Gellert – _Gellert_, who has always seemed so iconic, so grand, so brilliant, so flawless, could ever do such a thing. How could he, when I am his dearest friend? How could he, knowing how important my family is to me?

In an instant he was knocked off the pedestal on which I'd placed him. In an instant, the veil before my eyes was lifted, and I finally saw truth. Truth that even with all my cleverness and brilliance, I'd been the only one not to see.

In this moment, I can still hear Aberforth's voice, trying to show me reason I refuse to acknowledge. _'Can you not see, Albus, that he's only in it for himself? He doesn't care about your friendship, he only cares about his own plans, his own future, his own ambition! He's using you as a brilliant mind to help advance his schemes, that's all, Albus! Get away from it. He's not a good person. He doesn't care about you! Can't you see?'_

I couldn't.

'_He doesn't care about you!' _

Oh, how I had protested! How I had cursed at this blasphemy!

And oh, how stinging the truth that now lies in those words… a truth I'd seen from the moment Gellert tortured my brother before my eyes… from the moment Ariana died…

At just past nine there's a knock on the door. Aberforth rises from his chair angrily, and I do the same, cutting him off to face the newcomer myself. I walk to the entrance and pull open the polished wooden door. As I expected, it's him. Him, looking nearly as glum as I.

Gellert Grindelwald looks at me, the usual shine gone from his hazel eyes. He looks rather embarrassed actually, a feeling I've never seen him express. For a long moment neither of us say anything, and I try to keep my expression stern and disappointed, for just yesterday he did and said things of which I knew him not capable. He may have accidentally killed my sister. But the realization dawns on me that he is just as ignorant as I am about the identity of Ariana's murderer… as much as it could have been him, it could have been me. And even discounting all that, as hard as I try, I cannot remain angry with him. Thus, I soon give up on the regrettably false façade and resume an expression of benign dispassion. Looking at him, I detect the hint of a distinct emotion on his face, an emotion so rare and so negative it shocks me. A bad feeling settles in the pit of my stomach – what is going on?

I don't have to wonder long.

'I'm leaving,' Gellert announces neutrally. 'I came only to say goodbye.'

'What?' I ask, only half-aware of my own words, and my mind barely registering his. As the truth of his statement finally hits me, moments later, I can only stare at him. In this single moment of realization, I feel as though the world as I know it has ended. It has.

'I must leave,' Gellert says again, with so little emotion it makes me want to scream. Does he really care so little? I wonder despite myself. 'I cannot stay any longer, not after your sister…'

'Gellert!' I cry out. 'I don't blame you for Ariana's -'

'I know you don't,' Gellert interrupts. 'The Aurors, however, will think otherwise. I must leave before they get the chance to taint my name more than they already have.'

We stand in silence for a long moment. How unfair, the amount of selfishness he has placed into his terrible decision. How horrible, the thought of him leaving, the thought of losing the only person who has ever really understood me…

'Well…' I choke, turning again to the side. There is a small patch of flowers on the grass just under the porch – I look down to it as if fascinated. 'At least you aren't leaving straight away. At least we'll have… maybe a couple more days to spend together, right?'

'Alas, I am leaving very shortly,' Gellert says, again ever so neutrally. 'Bathilda has already scheduled my Portkey, it leaves in a half-hour. I shall have time to pay a final visit to Peverell's grave, nothing more.'

I feel my face taking on an expression of hurt, and I try to muffle it. To him, it seems, all ties of our once close friendship have been broken by Ariana's sudden death. To me, nothing has changed. Nothing. I can pretend to be angry – I can pretend all I want. It will not change the way I feel.

'What about -' I begin in an undertone, but Gellert cuts me off.

'I shan't attend the funeral,' he says.

'I wish you to,' I reply after a short pause, in little more than a whisper.

'I can't,' he shrugs. 'I must leave now, before my name is tarnished irreparably and I am rendered unable to achieve anything great. I'm sorry, Albus.'

He does not sound sorry. I turn away, unable to look at his face, hurt beyond my very grasp by his cruel words.

I cannot help but feel as though he's just been using me all along, as though all this time I really _have_ been nothing more to him than a measure to advance himself further forward. I cannot help but feel that all the sacrifices I've made for him these past two months have gone painfully and unjustly unnoticed.

Aberforth was right! Aberforth was right in all that he'd said!

'You must understand,' he pleads, and the look in his eyes tells me he knows I feel wronged. 'You know they'll accuse me over you. Over Aberforth, even.'

_I'd take the blame for you, _chimes a voice inside my head, and I immediately wish it wasn't true.

'Even so, you can't leave,' I say instead.

He doesn't reply – instead, he looks at me. Just looks at me, almost as if he knows what it does to me. He will never know the extent to which I am disappointed in him. In this moment… I wonder if Aberforth will turn out to be right once again. Will Gellert Grindelwald become a monster? Is that what he already is, what he always has been deep inside?

He doesn't seem to notice the unshed tears in my eyes.

'I'm sorry, Albus,' he says blandly again, stepping backwards off the step of my front porch and turning on his heel to leave. 'I must go.'

I watch him leave as I so often have, yet this time it's for good. The finality dawns on me as he reaches the dirt road at the end of the drive. No doubt he is heading to Peverell's grave, as mentioned before. And after one last visit, he will not return… nor there, nor here…

Like a fool, I race after him, but he is already too far gone. He walks quickly, almost as if fleeing – and by the time I reach the end of the drive, he is already at the end of the road.

'You need not feel sorry for me, Gellert!' I call to him loudly, my last resort to make cease this bitter end. 'It is I who should feel sorry for you!'

He does not turn back to heed my warning – and I have expected so much. I simply watch, for once defeated, as he walks still farther and turns the corner of the road we've walked together so many times. Now Gellert is walking alone.

Is he walking away only from me, I ask myself, or from all restraints holding him tied to humanity? I cannot be sure. It has long been my belief that I provided those restraints.

I stop following him and turn back, heading home. I feel tears streak my cheeks along the way. How can I be thought so powerful, and yet feel so powerless? How can it be that with all the incredible accomplishments and all the great plans I've made within seventeen years of life, I could not do something so simple as to save Gellert Grindelwald from himself?

I feel as though I've failed him… failed myself, and Aberforth and Ariana as well. But most of all, I've failed him. If only I had seen… And in this moment, I see so clearly the truth: it is too late, now. He can never be saved.

I can never be saved.

I walk up the front steps and open the door. I've never felt so alone. I sigh, knowing Aberforth is inside waiting for me, angry and accusatory. He is right to feel as he does. I have much to be guilty for.

I walk inside the house and close the door behind me.

I find myself grieving again.


End file.
